09 May 2012

Why I Refuse to Read 'Fifty Shades of Grey'



*Disclaimer: I'm not bashing anyone or their opinions in this rant. I'm merely venting about this trilogy, and explaining why I don't want to be asked to read and review it for the twentieth time. I don't mean to insult anybody, other than the characters in this book*

I've explained why I am not going anywhere near this book series several times now, and I am fed up of explaining myself to those who are gushing over Christian Grey. Therefore, I'm writing a post in the hope that people will understand my point of view, and why I'm rather offended by those who ask me repeatedly.

This book trilogy disgusts me. I have read several excerpts and scenes, and it is VILE. How anyone can enjoy this kind of stuff is beyond me, especially when they themselves speak out against emotional and mental abuse. But whatever, that's none of my business. Everyone has different opinions and all that.

My initial reason for not wanting to read this series was simply that I could tell from a couple of paragraphs I had read that Fifty Shades of Grey is poorly written. All the "Jeez"'s, ellipses and "inner goddesses" make me want to tear my hair out. Who talks like that? Who the hell writes like that (apart from Ana, obviously)? The grammar is also appalling, but I won't go into that because these are just minor things that put me off the book. Minor in comparison to the other stuff, anyway. See below.

To put it bluntly, Christian Grey is an abusive bastard. I don't even know what to think about the amount of people who are drooling over this guy. Perhaps I am missing out on something? In my opinion, he is well and truly sickening. I have no problem at all with BDSM, and I do not think it's abusive at all as long as both partners are consenting adults. What I do have a problem with, however, is emotional and mental abuse. This is what happens in Fifty Shades.

As an example, I shall include this scene in which SPOILER (duh) Ana tells Christian that she is pregnant with his child, and he goes off the wall.

"Did you forget your shot?”

I just gaze at him unable to speak. Jeez, he’s mad- really mad.

“Christ, Ana!” He bangs his fist on the table, making me jump, and stands so abruptly he almost knocks the dining chair over. “You have one thing, one thing to remember. Shit! I don’t fucking believe it. How could you be so stupid?"

He then proceeds to slam more doors and bellow at her because, of course, it's the woman's fault that she got pregnant. It's definitely HER job to make sure she remembers to use contraception. Christian doesn't have to use condoms, though, because he hates them. *MAJOR EYE ROLL* This isn't the behaviour of a dreamy sex god. This behaviour is disgusting.

To add to this, he also constantly hounds her about what she eats, and isolates her from her friends so that even if she did have reservations about this contract, she wouldn't be able to speak to anyone but him about it. Such a catch.

This entire series is just constant manipulation on Christian's part. He tells Ana what she likes and what she wants, and she becomes completely brainwashed by this psycho. He takes complete advantage of her and I feel sick to my stomach.

A love interest who uses mind games as a form of control, who forbids her to talk to anybody about this thing they have got going on so she can't even discuss it with her closest friends if she has reservations, is not a worthy love interest at all. In fact, he's a classic abuser. Ana is clearly afraid of him when he's angry. Is this a relationship I'm supposed to root for?

There are also several other scenes that make me uncomfortable, particularly the ones involving children. Trigger warning: child abuse, paedophilia, abuse in general.

"I think Daddy wants to taste popsicle, too," I whisper in Ted's little ear. Ted frowns at me, then looks at his hand and holds it out to Christian. Christian smiles and puts Ted's fingers in his mouth. 
Hmm...tasty.

This first scene is from the epilogue of the third book. It's more than a little unsettling.

"How's my daughter?"
"She's Dancing"
"Dancing?, oh wow yeah i can feel her"
He grins as blip two [their unborn daughter, obvs] somersaults inside me
"I think she likes sex already."

This, again, unnerved me. What. The. Hell?!


The strands of the flogger skim across my swollen belly at an aching, languorous pace.

Despite what you may think, Ana's stomach isn't swollen because she's bloated. No. It's actually swollen because she's pregnant (I'm not sure how far along she is, but that's beside the point). You read that right, Christian is flogging her pregnant stomach. I don't understand how this got published. All of these scenes make me feel physically sick.

To sum up this post, this book sends me into a rage. It fucking INFURIATES me. For future reference for anybody who's reading this rant, don't tell me to read this book. I don't want it recommended to me. Amazon, you can stop doing that, too. I am not going to read a book about a psychotic love interest if the main character does not overcome the abuse, and I will not read it if the author is clearly okay with any of the elements mentioned above. I would not touch this book with a twenty foot barge pole.

ETA: I am NOT trying to dissuade anybody from reading these books. I am merely stating that after doing some research into this series, I have decided against reading it because the content makes me uncomfortable. Let me repeat, it makes ME uncomfortable. I'm not saying that anyone else should feel uneasy, I'm merely talking MYSELF. As the title suggests. 

Also, this is my blog and I will post whatever the hell I want. If I want to post reasons why I (read: nobody but me) will not be reading this trilogy, then I will very well do so.

74 comments:

  1. Ugh. That's disgusting. I am so NOT reading this book. I had to put a book down before because the "love interest" was just RAPING the main character.

    Nothing against BDSM, but this is sick.

    I'm totally with you (:

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    1. What book was that, if you don't mind me asking? Ugh, the things some people write... I don't get it.

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    2. Me neither.. I wonder if these authors really think this is romantic or sexy

      The book I was talking about is Viridis by Castila Taylor. If you're interested, you can read my review of it here (:

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  2. I had no idea those books were so disgusting! I heard people talking about how sexy and hot this guy (Christian) was. EW!

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    1. I know! I've been hearing so many amazing things about Christian. I don't understand how this behaviour is hot.

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  3. I read the first one and then said many of these same things in my review. I then got multiple comments from people arguing with me.
    There is some horrible stuff in here. Like the fact that he stalks her. Not essentially stalks her but actually. How is that a good thing? Ugh

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    1. People seem to be infatuated for some reason. He stalks her as well? Ugh. It's not hot, and it's not normal.

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    2. Oh yes, MAJOR stalker. He has her followed, he has a background check done on her so that he knows every little detail about her, down to her social insurance number and the names of all of her previous step fathers, he follows her when she leaves town to be with her family (after she has told him she needs a break, and told him she didn't want him there), he has GPS on her phone and car so that he knows where she is at all times. She is not allowed to leave the apartment with "security," he tracks her down at work, etc etc etc. She cannot escape him. It's a major theme of the first book.

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  4. OMG!! Is this what everyone has been raving about?? I already knew it was classified "erotica" which is an enough reason for me not to read it, but I never knew it was written like this!!! And it includes children too!
    I'm speechless... 0__o

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    1. Yep, although I have no idea why! Apparently 3 million copies were sold in just one month.

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  5. WTF Seriously? This is what everyone has been going gaga over? I had no idea the book was like this. Why hasn't anyone mentioned the psycho behavior, children, and pregnancy before?

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    1. I'm surprised more people haven't brought this up, too, to be honest.

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    2. Probably because the children don't appear until the last pages of the third book.

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  6. Thank you for brining this series to my attention Amber.
    Like you, I'd heard everyone raving about this series. Thanks to this post, I will not be picking up this series. It is very uncomfartable to even read these short excerpts. Sickening.

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    1. My pleasure :) I agree, the whole thing makes me uncomfortable. Especially as this book is everywhere right now.

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  7. I work at a bookshop and a couple of us were wondering why these books were so popular so we flicked through the first book.
    OH MY.
    First thing first, I have no problem with sex in books. Absolutely not, it's, I guess, a natural thing that everyone does. However, EVERY SINGLE PAGE HAD SOME KIND OF REFERENCE. And I just found it disgusting, like you showed in this post.

    Also, a lot of the reviews I see of this book are on YA book blogs. This is certainly NOT a YA book...

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    1. I was going to mention the fact that YA blogs are promoting this book, but I didn't feel it was my place to call them out on it. They own their blogs so... :/ But yeah, it makes me cringe at the thought of all these younger (perhaps more impressionable) readers picking this up due to the hype, and then swooning over someone like Christian Grey.

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    2. YA blogs may very well be posting about it because it is an adapted for publishing Twilight fan fiction, which probably explains the two main characters to a certain extent as well.

      Definitely not for me, that's for sure.

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  8. I saw these books really cheap in a supermarket and I have to admit I was tempted to get them to see what all the fuss is about. I'm glad I read this post before I did! Those excerpts make me really uncomfortable too. I don't mind sex, violence, pedophilia, flogging etc etc...I've read some weird shit in my time and I love 'Lolita' and books that dare to address taboos. What I do mind is when things like aggression in men is presented as 'sexy' and 'protective', and when the pedophilia and pedophilic undertones are perceived as normal by the characters and just integrated as nothing unusual. Context and tone are everything! x

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    1. My thoughts exactly. I love reading about controversial topics, but not when it's clearly considered okay. Anyway, I'm happy to help :)

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  9. OMG FINALLY THANK YOU !!! I read the first book because I was curious but I hated it and it was disgusting I totally agree with you ! Now I can't stop judging people that loved this book because I really don't understand them...

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    1. I'm glad someone who has read the book/s agrees with me! I try not to judge people, but I have trouble with it because... well, because of everything I spoke about above!

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  10. I totally agree Amber! I was like having a WTF moment! Who the heck creates these types of books?! *pukes*
    http://wwwthebookshelves.blogspot.com

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    1. I don't even know. It's like someone's fantasies gone wrong.

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  11. +JMJ+

    Oh, yikes . . . =S

    I didn't learn a tenth of what you've written here before I decided that Fifty Shades of Gray was "just not for me" (which is my "nice" euphemism for what I think is trash). I don't blame you at all for staying away from this trilogy.

    Like you, I do a lot of research before reading a book because I don't want to waste my time on something I'll just loathe. It means I never get to be delighted by a "blind" recommendation any longer, but it also means that my reading life is far less infuriating.

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    1. I don't usually do this much research, but after reading some snippets of conversations about this book, I just couldn't keep my nose out. I'm so glad I decided to read up on it.

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    2. +JMJ+

      Yes. Better safe than sorry.

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  12. I didn't know much about these other than the fact that it mentioned sex quite a bit, (which I don't really want to read explicitly anyway) but now I'm just concerned, that sounds horrific and sickening.
    How did that ever get into print? It's positively vile!
    Thanks for the heads up.

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    1. You're welcome! I'm glad that my rant was useful for something!

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  13. I am staying anon, because I don't really want everyone knowing my business.

    I have been in a BDSM relationship for over 3 years and my knowledge of the lifestyle is the EXACT reason I refuse to read this book. It is full of unhealthy behaviors that have NOTHING to do with BDSM and are simply an excuse for abusive relationship. I hate this being the face that is being put on a relationship that at it's heart is about respect of both parties.

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    1. I was thinking the same things. I really, really hope that there aren't people out there who believe that THIS is BDSM. THIS is abuse, not a lifestyle. THIS is abuse, not a mutually respectful, sexually satisfying relationship.

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  14. I heard about the tampon scene in the first book and knew it wasn;t for me.
    But flogging a pregnant woman and emotionally and mentally abusing someone you "love"?
    That is not the basis of a greta love story!

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  15. I'm not trying to argue with you at all, I think you have fair and reasonable concerns for not reading the books and I have no problem with that whatsoever. But I do think you're taking some of these scenes out of context and therefore judging them perhaps too harshly.

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    1. Thanks for your comment :) Personally, I don't feel as though I've taken them out of context at all. I know - and have explained in my post - what is going on in each scene that I have taken the quotes from. I was very careful to do my research before posting this, because otherwise I don't think I would have been able to form an opinion.

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    2. So it takes you reading all three books in the series before you realize that the books don't suit your tastes? Seriously?

      Relax a little, have a glass of wine, unwind a bit...

      They are fiction for crying out loud... If you don't care for them, don't bash them and say an innocent scene as a family (with the popsicle) is child abuse when in reality it was a loving scene.

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    3. You clearly haven't read my post properly...

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    4. Frankly I would never want to "relax" to the point where I was cool with serious emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse thankyouverymuch.

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  16. I don't think a negative comment about a scene in which a woman's pregnant stomach is flogged repeatedly is judging too harshly, tbh. If anything the worrying amount of positive reviews for series like this one should be commented on more.

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  17. thanks for this review! I also refuse to read this book simply because it's being overhyped by the media and book bloggers.

    oh, and apparently he ripped her tampon out and forced himself on her when she was on her period. OMG. What the motherfuckery is this? That's just so disgusting! How could people think it's sexy? Gross.

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    1. Well, he DID rip her tampon out, without her foreknowledge or permission. It didn't "force" himself on her, though. She was more than happy to oblige.

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  18. Wow...seriously ? I'm speechless. The scenes you selected were utterly disguting. I agree with everything you said wholeheartedly. I didn't want to read the books before reading your posts (i just wasn't interested - I like a little sexy times in my book but from the few snippets of the book I got I just couldn't bother) but I am now a 100% against it. I'm so glad I didn't give in to the hype HA !
    What really really REALLY bothers me is how girls/women get so excited over a fictional character - fell in lust with them even - just because the guy is described as this Uber-hot male specimen. 'Cause I seriously don't know what kind of other reasons there is for liking him. And that is so dumb and shallow, do hot people really get away with anything ? If the guy had been described as an ugly beast people would have no problem calling him sick...

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  19. Oh my gosh that is downright horrifying. I was never planning on reading these books in the first place because that genre just isn't for me but after reading this I can't believe that anyone would read that let alone enjoy it. I agree 100% with everything you articulated in this post. How that kind of mental, physical, and emotional abuse can get passed off and to have people like it is just beyond me. Plus the whole pedophilia/pregnant abuse thing? Ugh. So SO sickening. :(

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  20. I agree with you. I started reading the first one but gave up, I couldn't take it any more.

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  21. Well said. I absolutely hate it when people mention this book, and it's ALL people are talking about right now. I'm glad that some non-readers are reading, but they should maybe read something that is written better, with a plot and a better message. Please, people. Pick up THE HELP or something. UGH.

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  22. This sounds like the kind of book that would make me want to wash out my brain with bleach after reading. I have been hearing and reading about this book all over the place - both good and bad - and I haven't been able to pin down my own feelings on it. I heard it described in one place as 'Mummy porn' and the same place said 'not to judge a book before you have read it' but seriously? Why would I want to read a book about an abusive relationship and someone messing with someone elses head. I read a YA book like that last year and I couldn't believe that there were girls out there that would find that kind of overbearing and controlling attitude attractive, never mind romantic.

    It sounds downright disturbing.

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  23. Frankly, I've heard and seen the name around the internet, but I didn't really know anything about it. After reading your post, that's one book series that's never going to get on my 'To Read' list. Sounds pretty disturbing to me. Especially if girls find this creep hot!

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  24. I wasnt gunna read this series anyway but you'd definitely convinced me not too now… I read one page from the second book in Sainsbury's and had to put it down, It was awful and that was just the grammar and writing!

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  25. Well this just gives me even more reasons to think these books are disturbing. It makes me so mad that characters like these are supposed to be "love interests". It doesn't surprise me that the character is like that considering it was Twilight fanfiction, but that's just ridiculous.... I don't understand how women are okay with themselves thinking that's an ideal male.

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  26. I have NO problem with erotica. I have NO problem with BDSM. But, err, what you just described disturbs me. I have to admit curiosity on this one, but I'm really not sure I'm in a hurry to read. Thanks for this post, Amber. It's enlightening :)

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  27. I think you are taking some of these things out of proportion. If you haven't read the book, how can you just find certain scenes to discuss here. You obviously read some if not all of it to find these scenes. I have read the whole trilogy and I love it. Just because I loved it doesn't mean I like BDSM but I am sorry you really should read the book if you are going to make a blog about it. you are making others think it is a horrible read which it is not. How come you didn't post the beautiful love scenes or the happy ones? the book has NOTHING to do with child abuse to his own children or any kind of child porn. The only talk about child abuse is when he was a 4 year old boy and his mother who was on crack had a pimp who would put cigarettes out on his little chest.
    Please everyone this post is not accurate. I think the author of this post should really rethink what has been posted. Again I still want to know how you were able to find these out of contest scenes if you claim you did not read the book. Nothing like this happens per se. Everyone should really read the books if you choose to to really see the true story.

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    1. I disagree. I did my research on the scenes, and I have stated that these scenes in particular are why I do not want to read these books. I did not say there aren't any happy scenes, I'm merely giving my reasons as to why I'm not reading this trilogy.

      If I had titled the post "Reasons to Read FSOG" then perhaps I would have posted the happy or loving scenes. Alas, read the title.

      "Just because I loved it doesn't mean I like BDSM"

      There is nothing wrong with BDSM. Nothing at all. What IS wrong is physical, mental and emotional abuse, which has nothing to do with BDSM in itself. It's a whole different matter.

      How I found the scenes? The internet is a wonderful place. Are you accusing me of lying about reading the books? How petty.

      I will NOT rethink what has been posted. These are my reasons for not reading this series. I've done my research into these books, and discussed it friends who have read them. The thought of them disgusts me, and I will very well share my thoughts on my blog. You are free to ignore them.

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    2. I have read the whole trilogy and fully agree with this post. I kept waiting for it to get better, and it actually just got worse! Let me tell you about the popsicle scene, and please forgive me, because I'm going to have to get graphic. One of the common sexual elements in the trilogy involves Christian putting is fingers inside Ana and then putting them in her mouth. She loves this. I find nothing at all disturbing or upsetting about this. But, when their young son has a Popsicle melt all over his hand, Ana encourages him to put his fingers into daddy's mouth so that he can taste the Popsicle. This is clearly a reference to their sexual activity, and frankly, I just don't think children should be part of sexual references. The daughter enjoying sex comment,.... Ana said that, not Christian. Ana-I think she likes sex already. Christian: Really? (frowning) There will be none of that until you are at least 30, young lady." And then says "And I'm looking forward to the taste of breast milk again." To which is feigns outrage. I think you are getting this all wrong, Anon. It's not the BDSM that has Amber and others up in arms. It's the ABUSE.

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  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  29. Hi, I am respondng to the post above (anon poster) I have actually read the first book so can comment. Christian Grey is a manipulative sadistic stalker with issues and it concerns me deeply when women find him desirable, I do not judge anyone who enjoy this book (I HATED IT) but each to their own. What I feel is crazy behaviour is the fact that so many women now want a man like Grey!!

    Amber, if I can shed some light on the book for you as you've not read it (but clearly researched and understood it)
    Ana is a virgin, meets Grey, he woos her as he wants her to be his sub, he invites her to his home where he has devised a contract in which Ana must agree to various things such as wearing what he tells her to, exercising when he tells her to with a personal trainer supplied by him - this is to ensure she is fit for the sexual activities he has in store for her. She must eat at certain times of the day what he tells her to eat and she must NEVER discuss any of this with her close friend. He bans her from talking about it to anyone, this leaves her anxious and confused. He then finds out she is a virgin which angers him but proceeds to teach her how to give him oral sex etc. The book then becomes extremely repetitive (someone buy the author a thesaurus please) Ana doesn't sign the contract but adheres to some of the content. She finds the relationship intense and escapes to visit her mother, arriving at the airport he has changed her flight to first class without her knowledge, after 2 days with her mother she is sat eating at a hotel with her mother and he texts her, telling her to slow down on the cosmopolitans, she looks up and he is there! (Stalker) HE KNOWS where she is all the time due to the phone he has provided her with (GPS signal)
    He doesn't force her to have sex but does remove her tampon to have sex (she is ok with this) The relationship ends when she is in pain after being paddled by him but from what I've heard, even though that is the end of the book, after 3 days they are back at it (book 2)

    I will not being reading book 2 or 3 and read book 1 before the hype, I was a bit shocked when it turned to S&M as I wasn't aware of that, either way, the book is badly written and the fact it shows a little romance, people find it acceptable and seem to miss the real story, which is about abuse, manipulation and vulnerability.

    Emma Lou

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  30. Not wanting to read the book is fine, and totally understandable - this book really isn't for everyone. However, I don't understand how you can 'review' a book that you haven't actually read - most of the quotes in this blog are taken entirely out of context, and as such are very misleading to people who haven't read the book either. Two of the quotes in particular are entirely misplaced (and these are the reasons most of my friends are quoting from this blog):
    1) The Popsicle comment between Christian and his son, Teddy. Why does that sound sexual to you?! The poor kid had dropped his Popsicle and was crying, so Ana told him to suck his fingers as he had Popsicle juice on them. Christian was feeling inadequate as a father as he wasn't able to stop his son's crying, and so Ana said 'I think daddy would like to taste the Popsicle too' to try and help with the bonding between them. And it works, because Teddy then wants to be held by Christian. That's it. Nothing sexual AT ALL.

    2) Christian DOES NOT flog Ana's pregnant belly. If you read the quote, it says that he 'skims' the flogger across her belly. As in skims, gently - he was using the flogger on her behind, but absolutely not on her belly, he was simply stroking her belly with the ends of it.

    As I said, I totally agree that the book isn't for everyone, and peoples opinions vary greatly on the books, but I think it's important for people to make up their own minds about whether or not to read it, without being made to think its full of pedophilia and pregnant belly-flogging.

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    1. Eli, this is NOT a review. I have previously stated that it isn't. People are free to make their own decisions, I am not telling them not to read it. If people decide not to read the book because of MY OWN REASONS, then fair play. If they decide they are interested, again, it is none of my business. I will not, and do not, dictate what my readers read.

      Now onto your points:

      1) My point is that it makes ME uncomfortable. And I don't want to read anything like that. What sounds sexual to one person may not come across the same way to someone else. I don't care what other people think, this is disconcerting to ME.

      2) "An aching pace" would suggest otherwise.

      I think my readers are capable of making up their own minds on the matter, I merely wanted to share MY thoughts as to why I wish people would stop recommending this trilogy to me.

      These are my own views on the trilogy and my own reasons why I don't want to read the book. I don't know how to be any clearer.

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    2. Earlier on, (book 1), Ana describes Christian Grey's penis as 'my very own Christian Grey-flavoured popsicle' which initially made my friends laugh because of how silly it sounded, and now sounds really disturbing.

      Given what I have read of the books, Christian Grey being allowed anywhere near other people is sufficiently disturbing without bringing children into it.

      If I want to read a book about a violent, abusive rich man with horrible beliefs and attitudes and no concern for other people, I will re-read American Psycho. That was well-written satire.

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  31. I'm so very pleased other people feel the same way about this tripe as I do! I find it genuinely upsetting that intelligent women are reading this and think it's actually a good book. It isn't. There are so many amazing books out there and this trash gets people reading? Truly unbelievable.

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  32. I would just like to say (as a guy) I am diqusted with this book. I have no problem with BDSM, but when it gets to the girl being afraid of her partner, he stalks her, abuses her, etc...its just sick. You have to have no self respect to enjoy this book. If I did any of this to my girlfriend, she would dump me in a heart beat.

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    1. And get a restraining order, I'm sure.

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  33. Thank you!!! I wound up on your blog from Googling "anna fifty shades of grey flog pregnant belly" (though you may already know that from GoogleAnalytics or whatever). Seriously! That epilogue in the third book was the most unsettling part. I can look past the thin, crappy plot and the repetitive, unrealistic sex scenes, but when it got to the point of sexualizing their children. As Ana says..."Holy crap!"

    I Googled that term because NO WHERE on any of the reviews I've read do people cite those specific parts of the book -- the MOST disturbing, IMO. They are all caught up with the ellipses, the Jeez-es, the Inner Goddess, etc. I just want to scream to everyone: "Did you read the part where he's FLOGGING HER PREGNANT BELLY? And, show of hands...we're all okay with that?!" So, thank you for finally commenting on what I've been feeling all this time! I hope those passages will stick in the minds of anyone who is seriously considering reading these books.

    One last morsel to leave you with if you are okay with sexualizing toddlers, fetuses and flogging pregnant bellies -- in one sex scene, he pulls her bloody tampon out of her vagina and tosses it into a nearby toilet before 'entering' her 'down there.' And who said romance was dead? Love that Christian Grey! Swoon!

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  34. "He stalks her" "He isolates her" "She secretly is afraid of him and "He gets mad when she finds out about he pregnancy" Sounds like Twilight. Wait - IT IS. It was a fanfic of it. So these elements really don't surprise me..

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  35. I'm glad to see that there are still people with brains in their heads left on this planet. Amber, this is my first time on your blog, and I CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I AGREE WITH THIS POST. I am 124 pages into the book-and to be quite frank-fucking sick of two characters. This book is nothing but bullshit. Seeing as how so many people (women especially) are complaining about "abuse" by men, who in their right fucking mind would buy this book, make it a bestseller, and promote the idea of sexual abuse?

    Anyways, I really appreciate this post very much. And I despise all my friends that are in "love" with Christian Bastard Grey.


    Sundul Ahmed

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    1. Thanks Sundul. The book has finally made its way into my secluded village, and now everyone is talking about the wonderful Christian Grey. Gah!

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  36. He is an ABUSER, a control freak, a sadist and an asshole. What part of his actions are people NOT seeing as abusive? They are so textbook abuser, I'm surprised the writer didn't research literature on abuser/victims in order to write these books. I DID read the books, I barely got through the last two. Wasted hours of my life I will never get back. But at least when people gush about how sexy they are and the "love" story, I can say with total confidence that the story should have ended with book 1- when she LEAVES him and calls him out on being crazy. Only suitable ending to this sick story.

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  37. I completely agree that Christian is incredibly abusive, and it makes me sick that so many women have "fallen in love" with this sexual sadist. I would like to point out, though, that all of these quotes are from the last pages of the third book. If these especially vile things had come up earlier in the series, it may have fewer fans.

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    1. Thanks for all of your input, Cassie. I'm just glad I found the information online so I didn't buy or read the books.

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  38. i have read all three books and the first time i read them i must admit i was swept away with it like everyone else was in fact i read the trilogy for a second time (i wasnt in love with characters this time round lol like everyone else) and started to notice a few things that i would percieve as a warning sign if i was in anna's shoes.

    i noticed that hes constantly hungry for sex no matter what mood hes in (worse than an average guy) and if hes angry then he has a physicaly abusive edge i remember that hes absolutly fuming to the point that anna is scared enough to take a step back away from him an she says she was getting ready to run. he might not of hit anna but one should not feel like that or thinking about that in regards to their partner.

    I percieve anna as constantly worrying about what mood christian is in and what he might do if he realy lost control in my opinion christian puts a lot of pressure on anna in and outside the bedroom and makes her feel on edge, she is somewhat caged as she has to second think her actions so as not to piss christian off. in a way he manipulates her so that she ends up goin back in to the playroom herself. it is written in her own opinion at the pool table scene that she takes what hes doin to her coz itl make him happy!....

    there are quite a few disturbing scenes that i am not becoming aware of now that i am reading it for a second time i agree with the bad grammer and being poorly written and the fact she talks about her inner goddess a lot very irritating

    she is dazzled by his life style, money, what he can do and in exchange has to endure his shit in and out of the bedroom!

    sometimes the book reads as if he wants her purely for sex and says what he has to get her to stay.

    she is at times quite exasperated by christian and has even said she has thought about running and has questioned the relationship on numerous occasions herself.

    a friend has commented on the relationship as very unhealthy and i have to agree.....

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  39. It’s pissing how Grey can get away with abuse & yet the moment someone raises the bitter truth about the guy women fans raise a human cry in defense of their dear Christian. Not only does the book glorify a relationship that reflects clear symptoms of abuse (that EL James & her fans seem to be innocently oblivious about) but also provides a warped picture of manliness. My friend keeps going gaga about how Grey is everything a man should be while singing hymns about the billion dollar assets, good looks & Audis that he owns & lavishes on Ana (albeit to make a bird in a golden cage out of her). Sorry but I used to think that a real man is a gentleman; I didn’t know that the idea of manliness is to be based on inanimate superficial materialistic objects. I didn’t know a real man is a man who exploits the immaturity & innocence of a female who is a walking endorsement of a girl who is conveniently inferior to the male protagonist in terms of intellect, experience, maturity, etc. I didn’t know a real man ought to be abusive mentally, sexually, etc. At least that’s what the book endorses & popularizes. Anyway, to each her own. I, however consider it my responsibility as a women to purchase my own Audi( if I ever want one) as respect to a loved one who used to face abuse at the hands of her husband.

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  40. I get that the book is very explicit and let's just say creepy and messed up as hell but I kinda still like it I'm not into the whole bdsm thing either I just think that's weird or that fact they he slept with her on her period and behaved like a total dipshitt when found out she was pregnant I mean what did he think was going to happen, but excluding all of the bad thing and the inexperienced author and the poor grammar it's still an epic love story one that we all know and love girl meets rich guy falls for rich guy sleeps with rich guy they fall in love and happy ever after see its just like any other normal book just way more creepier I wouldn't classify it as fully romance and erotica I would have to hint towards a little horror because reading all the awful things this guy has done to her it makes me sick but I have this urge to find out why she stays with him why she loves this creep and so I cannot stop reading them I admire her drive and zeal to try to have a relationship with this guy try to figure him out try to break him
    But she is also naive she doesn't see the harm the guy puts her in I mean he beats her while she's pregnant although he didn't know and because she loves him so much she takes all his crap and his shitt but I also see that he himself has deep problems and in reading this trilogy I see some of those problems unbound and disappear mind you he will still be all into the s and m and he will still have issues but at least she cools him down and that's why I support all you guys and your comments but I also find myself torn towards this book

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  41. Christian is an abuser. He reminds me of my ex-husband. I try to read the books and I just couldn't. This is not a love story. This is a story about abuse!

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  42. I read up to chapter 17 and had to return it. It's so disturbing how a man can act like this to a woman. This book should honestly not have been published. It's totally appalling. I can't understand how anyone likes this.

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  43. I read up to chapter 17 and had to return it. It's so disturbing how a man can act like this to a woman. This book should honestly not have been published. It's totally appalling. I can't understand how anyone likes this.

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  44. I agree with everything you said. I will say I have nothing against the BDSM scene, but this so-called 'novel' is not a real BDSM relationship. Not only that but I do feel bad for people in a real true BDSM who have this crap making people believe that the abuse is a proper BDSM relationship.

    It's alright to have your kinks, but I drew the line at flogging a pregnant woman. That boggled my mind.

    Then there is the measures he goes to just to basically stalk her.

    Yikes!

    And honestly, I only read a few chapters of each 'novel.' I don't know what was more annoying and disgusting: the abuse or the girl referring to herself as 'inner goddess'..talk about your cliches.

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